On March 22 we headed back to court for a final appearance before dagger lady judge to tell her that we’ve all done our parts  to conclude the case.  Except, not everyone did his/her part.  The slimy stooge of a realtor and her peacock-strutting, bombastic, blithering, brain dead bozo attorney absolutely refused to abide by the settlement terms.

I made sure the judge knew that he was the same jerk who flouted the rules of court by not even filing the mandatory settlement conference brief which was required five days before the hearing on January 25th.  But, just as predicted, dagger lady judge refused to order sanctions against him.  What the hell does it take for an attorney to get bitch-slapped by that bitch?  She just about laughed in my face when I brought up the subject of  his infractions.  All she wanted to do was to shove us out the door as quickly as possible.  The only reason the case is over is because another defendant’s attorney picked up the slack to resolve the issue.  Dagger lady wasn’t impressed.

MSC Briefs

The attorney for the property management company filed his  brief two days before the Jan. 25th hearing and the big bully banks, who were still defendants at the time it was due, simply couldn’t be bothered to follow the law (again).  They sent theirs in the day before the hearing.   Not one of them got so much as a harsh word either from the mediation judge or dagger lady.  It’s as if the infractions never happened.  Meanwhile, dagger lady previously gave me her song and dance routine about her needing to “follow the law” when she so cavalierly ruled against me in all those summary judgment motions.  I heard her warn another pro per to “follow the law” as that poor woman headed toward trial.  This judge’s disdain of self-represented parties is so transparent.  Such a pathetic hypocrite.

Mr. Blockhead, the bozo attorney is also the one who allowed his realtor-client to use his Bar number and pass herself off as an attorney when she filed a TRO against my co-plaintiff because he sent her some mail.   The realtor also refused to accept certified mail court documents from us when she was, for a short time, acting on her own behalf, and legally obligated to receive them.

Dealing with these dynamic duo-duds was like being trapped in a clown car.  “Dumb and Dumber” on steroids.  At least I knew where the other defendants and their attorneys stood, like Al Pacino in “Scarface”, whipping out their “little friend” to shoot me in the back, over and over again.  I kept getting back up, like “The Terminator” … or “Rocky”.  But alas, now I shall walk not so silently into the sunset … after a few more paragraphs.

Depo Take 2

Right before our Mandatory Settlement Conference on January 25, 2013, the attorney for the property management company I’ve affectionately termed “PMS”, ordered a deposition for a consumer reporter who had tried to help us after the attempted break-in/threats by the local trash-out company his clients hired.  Not that the reporter had any relevant information to provide, but simply because he was another person they could abuse with their bullshit bullying tactics.   And, of course, when one attorney calls a depo, all the other lawyers flock to it like the vultures they are to take stabs at the poor deponent.

“Rules Are made to be Broken”
I’m guessing the first person who came up with that line was an attorney.  Violating the settlement, no MSC Briefs, Discovery abuses, no responses to Meet & and Confer letters through aggressive stupidity and inability to understand the English language.  Imagine an attorney who claims not to understand the term “legal” and a realtor who can’t comprehend the word “foreclosed”.

There was so much wrong about the circumstances in our case and so much harm caused to me, but it didn’t mean anything in the long run.  The courts don’t give a rat’s ass about the truth.  I wonder who came up with the phrase “rat’s ass”.  I mean I wouldn’t want anything to do with a “rat’s ass” whether truth was involved or not.  Speaking of a rat’s ass, I would be inclined to allow dagger lady judge to enjoy the company of one in a locked cage for 20-to-life.

I’m having a supply of voodoo dolls made up for each of the defendants and their attorneys.  I’ve “independently contracted” with a Haitian group in Miami to represent my interests and send out the voodoo dolls.  That way I won’t be held liable if some horrible accident befalls any of them.  I hear the Haitians are starting a Voodoo Doll of the Month Club, in fact.

The trash out slugs still work for “PMS” and “PMS” still works for the banks; as far as I know the elephant noise making realtor is still in the mix too and all of them seem to be supremely happy over their existence together no matter how many lawsuits come their way.  The attorneys right now are doing a jig knowing they’ve put one over another pro per.

A Farewell to Arms

There will always be a special place in my heart for all the defendants and their henchmen.  “Goodnight and Good Luck” and good fucking riddance.  They’ll certainly have no trouble finding other poor innocent folk to foreclose, rob, attack, then fuck over and make “A Fist Full of Dollars” in the process.  That’s the way big bully banks and their idiot mortgage serving companies operate in America.

Remember: coming soon to a bookstore near you: “Home Sweet Home-Foreclosed, A Satirical Look at Bastard Bankers, Foreclosure Forging Fiends and the Goose Stepping Goons That Support Them”.  In the meantime, see you at the cinema!

Author Ginger Marin is an actor, freelance writer and storyteller.  You can also find her on Google+